Finding certainty in uncertainty
“If uncertainty is unacceptable to you, it turns into fear. If it is perfectly acceptable, it turns into increased aliveness, alertness, and creativity. ”
Buddhism emphasizes the concept of impermanence. Everything that has form is subject to change. Every form perishes and this is the one unchangeable fact of life on this earth plane.
One of my secondary school teachers, who wasn’t a Buddhist, loved to remind us that only one thing is inevitable in life, and that’s death. I wonder how comfortable he was with the idea of dying.
But let’s not divert.
ACCEPTING IMPERMANENCE
On the one hand, we accept the change of seasons, the waxing and waning of the moon, the blooming and wilting of a flower, day and night, the end of a favorite Netflix series, or the discontinued item on a restaurant’s menu without too much fuss – except perhaps for the Netflix series.
Yet, on the other hand, we are stuck with our internal framework of how humanity and the world is supposed to be. We have clear ideas on how people are supposed to behave. We hold onto our story, our identity, and our convictions of how life should be.
Even though impermanence is essentially built into our nature, we struggle with some changes, the ones that threaten our false sense of having control over circumstances and life.
The breakdown of a relationship, loss of a job, disease, death of a loved one. In such moments, we are confronted with the loss of stability, even our identity at times, and we are forced to face uncertainty.
The perceived loss of permanence gives rise to uncertainty, and with it often comes anxiety, the feeling of not being in control, and the lack of safety.
GETTING COMFORTABLE WITH UNCERTAINTY
Through a deep understanding of the concept of impermanence and implementing it as part of our philosophy of life, we could get comfortable with uncertainty.
We could explore what it would feel like to be present without knowing, what we feel within when we get familiar with the notion of uncertainty and what comes to the surface from deep within. Can we spend time with feelings of fear, grief, anger, and resentment, and be rest assured that these too shall pass?
Can we create some spaciousness, acknowledging those parts within which for sure have a reason to feel the way they do? And then, can we imagine placing every feeling outside of us for a moment to explore who we would be without it? What space would we be in, who would we be without all the thoughts, emotions, and feelings about uncertainty and impermanence?
Perhaps we would catch a glimpse. A glimpse of what we have been searching outside of ourselves, namely contentment, peace, and the realization that right at this moment we are okay and everything is well.
What usually happens instead is that we project onto others and plan for our contentment in the future. Rather than being content now, we believe that we can only be content once our expectations are fulfilled. That we will be happy when we have reached a certain position in our career, or when we achieved the degree we believe will bring us success and fulfillment, or once our children leave home for university. Or any other milestone we believe is necessary for our happiness. While it’s perfectly alright to have goals and aspirations in life, tying these external goals to our inner happiness is more likely a recipe for failure.
HAPPINESS IS IMPERMANENT
We fail to recognize that chasing one fulfillment after another to ensure our happiness does not lead to the joy we expect. At one point, there comes the realization that happiness too is impermanent, more so when based on the external fulfillment of our desires only.
What would it take to find a way to be fulfilled and content in this very moment?
What if the way we are, the world is, it’s perfect – it’s perfect this very moment.
You may say that this can’t be – that we should look at all the suffering, the struggles, the angst, the pain.
Yes, every one of us will experience challenging situations. How do we react to them, and do we realize that none of it is permanent? Change is the only constant, and depending on our outlook on life, change is for the better. The more we struggle and resist change and related uncertainty, the less we can embrace opportunities for growth which is the very reason we are journeying through this life.
@Photo by Bannon Morrissy on Unsplash