Life Off-Track? Getting Back on Course Begins With You
“Responsibility is the price of greatness”
As we just stepped over the threshold into a new year, it’s natural to look back and review the past 12 months. What went well last year, and what would you change if you could? Which relationships blossomed, and which faltered? What goals did you accomplish, and which fell short?
This retrospection often brings a mixture of satisfaction, regret, hope, and anticipation. We may feel proud of our achievements while also acknowledging what didn’t work out that well and consider it as an opportunity for growth. The new year represents a chance to course-correct, leave behind what no longer serves us, and manifest an even better version of our lives.
To make the most of a new beginning, it’s vital we embrace responsibility for all aspects of our existence. This means both the highs and the lows, the celebrations and tribulations. As Winston Churchill noted, “responsibility is the price of greatness.” Being accountable for the ways we have shaped our circumstances, whether consciously or not, is essential to intentionally create what we want moving forward.
BLAME AND VICTIMS
Life isn’t always fair is a truth that often causes disappointment when people, events, and outcomes do not align with that nexus of our intentions, expectations, dreams, and reality.
When faced with challenging situations and setbacks, it’s often tempting to see ourselves as victims of unfair circumstances, other people’s actions, and even just bad luck. These external factors can make the best of us feel trapped at times. However, falling into victimhood and blaming outside forces is an example of abdicating responsibility. What we are doing is essentially becoming passive characters in our own story.
OPPORTUNITIES FOR GROWTH
In seeing only failures and unmet expectations, we miss out on an important aspect of reality. Whether it is a job loss, a breakup, or a health issue, it can seem like our life went off course. What if these are opportunities for growth? Making peace with “enemies” or “unfairness” makes space for new insight about who we are, allowing for a different response the next time.
Photo by Daniel Thiele on Unsplash
BECOME ACCOUNTABLE
“You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
We co-create our current reality through perceptions, words, actions, and agreements made over time. Accepting that we participate consciously and unconsciously helps us to step into the power to make different choices and thus influence outcomes and experiences. Rather than being a whimsical plaything for external forces, we reclaim our innate knowing to navigate life.
Seeing the path of our life as an impact of our choices from this new vantage point shows where we are in life in a much different light. Accepting responsibility is not blaming ourselves for not doing “better”. Rather it is to highlight patterns and beliefs that do not serve us and remind ourselves of the power of our own choice and how we can take different steps moving forward.
SEEING THE BIGGER PICTURE
Despite our best intentions and efforts, not everything turns out the way we anticipate. This difficult truth is a part of the human experience. When we can embrace that we are all here to learn, then it’s easier to accept that all of life’s challenges have an inherent purpose. Even the devastating and painful ones are here to awaken in us qualities of compassion, empathy, courage, love, and a sense of who we truly are. We are here, after all, to have a human experience and as humans we have limitations. Can we let go of blame and perfectionism when life doesn’t go as planned?
Recognizing forces exist beyond anyone’s control helps us to remain open-minded, curious, and compassionate. This goes for ourselves and others, even when we don’t agree with their choices.
HOW TO NAVIGATE WINDS AND WAVES
RESPONSE-ABILITY
I like the analogy of us being the captain of our ship. As the captain of my ship of life, I get to navigate the sea of change as I know best. I get to decide which vistas and faraway lands to visit and to change destinations as necessary. The word “responsibility” is the ability to respond. Being responsible equips us with a sense of capability and a trust in ourselves to navigate life’s inevitable ups and downs.
Photo by Thom Milkovic on Unsplash
How can we navigate the winds and waves of challenge or adversity without losing sight of our true north?
Here are some reflections and invitations to help you stay on course:
Take stock of the reality at hand. What is the specific problem or situation needing to be addressed? Who is involved and impacted? Separate the facts from old stories without judgment or blame.
What might be the value of this difficulty? Does it illuminate something that needs improvement or rather does it require removing something from your life? Which of your needs might not be met? Which of your values are underrepresented?
Take ownership for what’s in your control, even if indirectly. How did your choices and actions, whether conscious or not, help create the current circumstances?
What falls within and outside your sphere of influence?
What aspects that are within your control can you focus your energy on?
What solutions, or reframed perspectives, will help you to adapt and move forward? Given that the present moment holds many possibilities,what might you not be aware of? If you step back and look at it from a different viewpoint, what is possible now?
SETTING SAIL
Taking complete responsibility for our life is often uncomfortable. After all, who likes to admit their mistakes, being misguided, or feel blinded at times? Yet, practicing compassionate introspection rather than harsh self-judgment helps us to charter and navigate a new course in life so we can become who we long to be.