Is Your Life a Lie?

How often in life are the decisions we make genuinely based on our values, our dreams for our future and not on those of our parents, the expectations of society or our inner devils?

Can we be brutally honest with ourselves and look at the part of us that needs to please others or the part that prefers to shy away from conflict to feel safe? Can we see that listening to those parts will take us away from our inner truth at that very moment?

How often has it happened that you were supposed to make a significant decision and suddenly you noticed the dozens of different voices in your head outlining various possibilities? Or the worst-case scenarios if you didn't listen to that very persistent voice? This is the voice that convinces you that you would be doomed if you decided against its advice.

If you noticed those voices, congratulate yourself.

Many of us aren’t even aware of them.

Sitting with Your Inner Voices

Then you get courageous and distance yourself from all that chatter filling your head.

You sit back with the intention to listen to what is honestly going on within you. Maybe it’s getting a sense of a part of you that needs a lot of courage to speak up. To speak its truth, your truth, to speak of your genuine desire, which oh dear, if you would follow would cause a lot of eyebrow-raising, unhelpful comments and blank stares.

Deep inside, you know that this part is your authentic You. It shares your deepest desires for yourself, your life and what you want to dream into being. It has seen all of you, day by day, in light and darkness. It knows your strengths and your weaknesses and it has witnessed your life as a constant companion, without judgment. Always ready to offer you the most courageous path through your life - by staying true to yourself, cutting through your lies, excuses, blame and any wish to take the easy route.

You pause and you taste what it would feel like to let go of the fear to do the unthinkable. This may mean disappointing loved ones, maybe even causing pain and walking into uncertainty and not knowing what the future has in store.

For a second you taste that freedom, you notice you can breathe freely again, you feel fresh energy raising from within. You sense hope, inspiration and with that an inner strength, you are in alignment with your truth.

Then, in a split second, the elevation you experienced acknowledging your truth disappears as if the headsman's sword had come down. In the blink of a moment courage, certainty and inner knowing get overthrown by your inner critic, your ego and your fears. Back in doubt, draining thoughts, what if's and when's, the focus is again on what others think is the best to do and how you and your life fit into everyone else's standards, ideas and visions. To not raise your head above the norm, yet caught in social dogmas, which drains your energy day by day.

The Questions & Realizations

You wonder why and how life has become a drag. Why has everything become meaningless, why there is no spark anymore in life and why there is an inner tension growing, causing sleepless nights, jaw pain from gritting your teeth and a lack of energy to do the simplest things? Yet, this faint inner voice has done its magic; it has planted an invaluable seed. It offered you a taste of empowerment, as you sat that one time honestly with yourself, acknowledging what you truly desire for yourself, what brings you joy and fulfillment.

Over time you become aware that this faint inner voice isn't so gentle anymore. It becomes a constant reminder of that rush of energy, the elated feeling that arises when you make decisions with integrity and in alignment. You start navigating towards that feeling because it felt so good.

You also realize that others aren't half as upset and opinionated about your decisions as you thought they would be. You see that there is no shame in admitting having made a wrong turn. In fact this wrong turn was an opportunity to re-evaluate what is essential for you and your wellbeing.

Perhaps you may have noticed that living with a mask, always bending over to make others happy to avoid standing up for yourself is one of the most life-draining choices and causes tremendous stress.

The more authentic you are with yourself, the easier it is to offer that authenticity in your relationships. It for sure takes courage to show up the way we are, to be vulnerable, to face the fear of disapproval or judgment. The rewards you reap for your decision to show up in life with authenticity are priceless. Trust me on that - this is a process I’ve gone through.

Start Here

Start small, be gentle with yourself. Practice compassion when you spend time with those parts of you that are afraid to step up, to take risks. They have probably learned in the past, most likely in childhood, that doing so means trouble and therefore they want to keep you safe. This they think means keeping you from stepping out into the world, being a risk taker, making decisions based on your truth, your values and your deepest desire.

Here is an invitation to stop and listen inwardly more often to connect with that inner part of you that knows of your strengths and capabilities, your limitations and aspirations.  That part that from day one has kept your life's most exceptional outcome alive in the hope that one day you'll rise above all doubts and fears to create that vision. This is an invitation to sit with this part, become aligned with your truth and find the courage to bring yourself to the table – the real you, your best possible self.