Magic in the South China Sea
Ankle-deep in the ocean, I stand at the edge of the sandbank revealed by the changing tide. It is early morning, so amazingly quiet. Far behind me is civilization. It has been three days now of being alone with myself, apart from the other guests at the resort.
Tiny waves are lapping gently on the sand. I listen to the pause in between.
It is so quiet I feel the silence in the magic of watching the sunrise. Beautiful hues of blue, purple, orange and pink announce a new day.
Drawn in by the hypnotic sound of the water, I can sense an opening, the allowing of space within me. My body, my mind, that silen tspace within - everything tunes into the PAUSE, returning to Being, dropping the Doing.
Being present with nature, with no one around, my senses expand into the space around me. Stillness also slowly settles within.
My chest expands, my stomach relaxes and a sense of deep calm washes over me. The sea and all the other elements wrap me inside a moment. With awareness and presence, I penetrate time both, still and moving.
I am open, soft, curious, and I feel almost naked, despite being clothed in my sunhat, shorts and T-Shirt.
Standing in the water and listening to the pause before the next little wave arrives, something clicks. I don’t know how, somewhere within me something recognizes that stillness, that home-coming and the quietness, which allowes me to “just” BE.
I remember this hypersensing, though it’s been a while. This sharp awareness of everything around me at that moment, of the stillness and everything that sits within it, is almost surreal and supernatural.
“Within you, there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.”
Photo by Antoinette Biehlmeier
Experiencing this external and internal stillness for a moment is one thing; reproducing it is quite another. And I want it, I want to inhabit it, I want to repeat it. So the next day I venture out first thing to get another fix of stillness.
The next morning, all the elements are in play. The sea, the sandbank, the sunrise and me. I can't get back into that same space. Nothing is the same. The waves sound different, I can hear motorbikes in the distance, a fishing boat leisurely passes by and thanks to my expectations, I am not as receptive.
It is said about meditation, that if you've had a great experience, let it go, have no expectations and greet the following one with an open mind.
BACK TO “REAL LIFE”
I am now back home. I can recall that feeling of stillness for a few moments, thanks to a rich, felt experience of that silence. It gets harder, though, to reconnect fully the more I get immersed in my “real life.” My day-to-day work, the stress of so many projects and all those to-do lists in my head.
I make it a habit to recall it several times every day. I pause. I feel the water washing over my feet. I engage my ears to remember the sound of stillness and my skin to open to it, with all my senses weaving together to anchor that stillness once again. The multitude of sensory impressions brings alive that fullness and void of stillness for me.
For the longest time, I have found meditation a challenge, wrestling with too many thoughts and getting impatient with this constant noise in my head. This technique is particularly helpful at the beginning of my meditation, when my mind is impatiently tapping its mental finger on the table. This recalling helps me to ease into a space of softening and relaxation, gently inviting the mind to focus on the pause between the little waves.
“In stillness, the muddied water returns to clarity.”
Being alone with oneself – No way!
Researching another article, I came across a study published in the journal Science, in which participants were asked to sit in an empty room for a specific time. Here is a summary:
In 11 studies, we found that participants typically did not enjoy spending 6 to 15 minutes in a room by themselves with nothing to do but think. They enjoyed doing mundane external activities much more, and many preferred to administer electric shocks to themselves instead of being left alone with their thoughts. Most people seem to prefer to be doing something rather than nothing, even if that something is negative. (….) The untutored mind does not like to be alone with itself.¹
This idea of not doing anything, simply being with oneself, is an intriguing one. It is counter-intuitive to life as we know it. Most people have actively bought into the notion that busyness means productivity, which leads to success. The advice for those who are very busy and yet unfulfilled is often to do more, not less, let alone do nothing. Do more, work harder, don’t stay still.
Coming back to the summary of the study, I would like to add that many people don't like to even get in touch with their feelings and emotions. Grief, rage, anger, frustration, sadness, loneliness, confusion – there are so many more. All boxed away. Even if they do face them, they distract themselves and don't sit long enough to reach deeper into the treasure of their Being to discover Joy, happiness and belonging, to name a few.
Stillness
Nature just IS – if honoured and kept undisturbed there is a stillness in nature that can be noticed even whilst birds and insects are going on about their business. There is the sound of leaves rustling in the wind, a branch dropping down, and yet, there is an innate stillness, a presence that permeates nature.
Sitting in stillness invites a deeper listening to what is present within, once the crashing, loud waves of the mind have calmed down. Then I can stretch out my senses, this time into myself, to meet myself with presence.
Present to myself in stillness, I notice my subtler parts. This may be the notion of acceptance of a part within me that struggles to learn from the past or a part that is envious of or resentful towards others. I may feel into being enough the way I am. There are so many possible beautiful aspects and insights when I taketime to meet myself, as I am, with curiosity and compassion.
While writing this article, I wonder when I last sat with someone, so completely present with them, that there was no need to say or do anything. Sitting together in silence, allowing for a field of stillness to build.
From that silence arises stillness pregnant with the unspoken recognition of each other's beingness and a deep resonance with each other. It's surprising the magnitude of closeness that stillness can engender.
“Everything inside and around us wants to reflect itself in us. We don’t have to go anywhere to obtain the truth. We only need to be still, and things will reveal themselves in the still water of our heart.”
Are you ready for 10 minutes of stillness in your life?
Reference:
1. https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2014/07/people-would-rather-be-electrically-shocked-left-alone-their-thoughts
Photo by Antoinette Biehlmeier