Silence, Solitude and Self: Why is it important to spend time alone?

Do you feel lost, overwhelmed, or drained? Is the quality of your sleep deteriorating? Do you notice being more scattered and need more focus? Have you stretched yourself so thin that you are out of touch with who you are and what you genuinely need and desire to live a fulfilling life?

It's time to go back to basics. If you have already implemented a better diet, sleep, and exercise routine, increasing your water intake, adding time for silence and solitude will support your overall well-being and allow you to find a way back home to yourself.

Photo by Daniele Levis Pelusi on Unsplash

Listening to Silence

Many years back, on the first evening of our holiday in a finca in Spain, I realized what a noisy environment I usually lived in. There, far away from the next house, staring into the night, I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. I was fascinated by the silence; it felt strange, yet familiar, like a thick fog that muffled every other sound. Then, finally, I was able to slow down; something in me fell into place and settled with a big thump.

Have you tried hearing silence? It's an exciting experience. Silence isn't without sound. I find it hard to describe because even though there isn't a sound, the space isn't soundless - it's as if silence has its own sound. It's unreal, almost palpable, and in the chair on the finca terrace, I felt my whole body sensing into that soundless sound as if I were turned inside out to be better able to take it in, grasp its essence and settle in its embrace.

The trouble with noise

According to the National Park Service's Natural Sounds and Night Skies Division, noise pollution doubles or triples every three decades. (1)

There have been enough studies to prove that constant exposure to noise leads to a decline in physical, emotional, and mental well-being due to stress. This may be a worsening in sleep quality and an increase in anxiety, depression, and fatigue. Furthermore, just one night of prolonged noise exposure leads to an increased level of adrenaline and cortisol in the bloodstream, which affects vascular health.

Especially for sensitive individuals, noise pollution is an important aspect to be aware of and to avoid as much as possible for their personal growth and well-being.

The Potency of Silence

Those who relish silence are onto something. Several neuroscience studies have shown that when being exposed to more extended periods of silence, the brain activates the production of new brain cells.

There are numerous other benefits of spending time without the usual background noise of cars, cell phone beeps, chatter, and even household appliances. Since the constant information overload of today's time clutters the mind, seeking quiet time is essential for more clarity, productivity, self-awareness, and creativity. Implementing intentional breaks from noise will also improve the quality of sleep and increase the ability for emotional self-regulation, thereby helping to improve overall well-being.

Finding the most conducive environment might be challenging when living in a bustling city. Not too many people like to get up at 4 am to catch the quietest time of the day. However, spending time in nature is a wonderful option if a tranquil space is hard to find. Noise-canceling earphones are helpful, too. We are all aware of what time of the day is the quietest for us to explore the best possible option of "silence." Add those noise-canceling headphones and you might be close to a soundless experience.

Silence certainly has a quality many of us long to experience, while others can't bear the thought of being in silence for too long.

ADD to it, Solitude

The same is true for solitude. While some people crave time alone because they are introverts or highly sensitive people, or they want to break from too much going on, others avoid being alone as much as possible.

And as with silence, there are many benefits to intentionally taking time out of a busy schedule to be alone.

This time alone with ourselves can be the starting point of a self-discovery journey. So many of us live a life that is not even scratching the surface of what we are capable of. Yet, how would we know if we don't become aware of our potential, skills, and qualities?

Spending time with oneself invites us to ask those excellent questions:

Who am I? Where do I want to go? What do I long to experience? What am I here to do?

Inner Relationship Focusing

We won't find the answers to those questions on social media; we find them within ourselves. What helped me most in my many years of practice and self-work is a practice called Focusing.

Enjoying regular practice, I found a gentle yet powerful way to establish an inner relationship that answers pressing life questions.

Spending time with myself has helped me to develop curiosity and compassion for feelings, emotions, and physical sensations that arise as a response to life. Turning inwards in a Focusing way invites me to find relief, understanding, and clarity that emerges from being present with myself. Not only have I learned to enjoy my own company more, but I also notice how this practice improves my presence with others at work and home.

The art of being with yourself

Integrating pockets of solitude into your schedule is as powerful as inviting more silence into your life.

Of course, silence and solitude don't need to be spent solely with self-reflection and contemplation. If you listen to your needs, you will know how you want to spend that time with yourself. Maybe it's sitting on the sofa with a cup of tea and listening to sounds mindfully. Perhaps you always wanted to relax with a foot bath, rediscover your creativity by coloring mandalas, or pick up journaling again.

Being with yourself can be a wonderful break from the hustle and bustle of life, the masks we wear, and the expectations we feel we have to fulfill. The more you practice the art of being with yourself, the easier it is to cut out the noise, hear your inner voice, and start your journey to more authenticity, self-responsibility, and agency in life.

What will it take for you to make your next appointment with yourself?

(1) Reference