Feeling Alone and Belonging (Writing a Letter to Heal)
Originally published in February 1, 2023 as a newsletter.
Belonging is a fundamental part of human nature. Every individual, to some extent, desires a sense of belonging.
There will be times when this feeling of not belonging becomes more pronounced. It can happen at any point in our life. Some may experience it for a short time while there are those who go through it for years.
While there are numerous causes for this, there are, I believe, a handful of experiences that most of us share.
BEING MISUNDERSTOOD
A unique or unorthodox perspective or personality can lead to feelings of isolation. One of the loneliest feelings is being misunderstood, especially when it’s by family or close friends. This may go hand-in-hand with feeling unlovable which is a separate yet related factor. It may be worth examining if there are also parts of us that are averse to being understood. Have we built a wall around ourselves that make it hard for others to SEE us?
LISTENING & ARTICULATION
It's also possible that we may not be effectively communicating our innermost thoughts. Factors like empathic listening or having the emotional vocabulary to articulate a thought or feeling can make or break a conversation. So it makes one ponder, “Can I listen without judgment and also express the full landscape of my emotions?”
YOU’RE EVOLVING (OR HAVE EVOLVED)
Change is constant and necessary. When we decide to make changes, this also affects the dynamics with those we have relationships with. It can also affect our surroundings as a whole. As we consciously make shifts, we also carve out new spaces both in our physical and inner world. When we’re focused on this expansion, there’s a temporary empty space around us that gives us that feeling of being afloat, alone, and untethered. Embrace that because soon, that space will again be filled with better things.
I’m with you in this moment. You’re not alone.
Warmly,
Antoinette
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LETTERS TO HEAL THE SELF
I invite you to an exercise where you write a letter to yourself. This can be sent anonymously. You may also use a pseudonym should you want me to share it with our community to help others not feel alone in their journey.