What Drains Your Inner Battery?
One morning many years back, I got into our car to drive to work. I turned the ignition key but nothing happened. Zilch, nada, zero. Instead of the familiar sound of the engine coming alive, there was only silence. Something had drained the battery overnight.
Likewise, our internal battery, aka internal energy, gets drained by a myriad of different things. We call them energy leaks. Some energy leaks are very obvious, while many are silently running in the background.
Disempowering beliefs, unsupportive relationships, the masks we wear, things we do for the wrong reasons, self-deception, the inability to say no and emotions such as shame, guilt or anger, amongst many others are factors that negatively affect our internal energy.
How often do you drop into bed at night feeling exhausted for no apparent reason?
Well, you most likely went through a day filled with plenty of those examples I mentioned above.
Several studies by the HeartMath Institute show that these leaks result in a chaotic heart rhythm which reduces the brain’s ability to process information efficiently. The chaotic heart rhythm impacts the autonomic nervous system as well as the hormonal system.
Stress and Cortisol
Our body can self-regulate within 90 seconds if we do not add any further stress by entertaining the thoughts of our overactive mind. It’s our mind that creates an endless chain of even more draining assumptions, worrying thoughts and worst-case scenarios. With each stressful situation, the flight-or-fight hormone called Cortisol is released into the body. Unfortunately, cortisol isn’t re-absorbed very quickly, and therefore chances are high that we have another stressful event to deal with before the first cortisol output has been neutralized.
Rising cortisol levels cause inflammation, lower immunity, weight gain, increased blood pressure and reduced memory function, to mention just a few symptoms.
You Leak – Consciously or Unconsciously
It is simple. Our body reacts in specific ways to various emotional states, depending on the intensity and quality of the emotion thus directly impacting health and overall performance. Our nervous system and the hormonal system react with either stress (drain) or an energizing response. And like the car battery, we too can get depleted.
Common Sources of Energy Leaks
“The things you do either energize you or drain you. Choose wisely.”
I invite you to take a few moments to think about your daily routines. Which of those make you feel drained, without energy, listless, tired, or frustrated and which of those are enriching, energizing, and uplifting? Take your time - this is a very insightful exercise. Here are some common sources of energy leaks, to name a few:
Fear-based thinking
When you experience fear, the internal alarm system goes off - your adrenals release cortisol, your heart rate goes up and your whole being contracts, becoming smaller, so you can hide if you chose to stay rather than flee. Though this has been very useful in the days of the hunters and gatherers, today we have exchanged lions and wild boars with other fears of the modern world, such as fear of rejection, fear of inferiority, fear of experiencing loneliness, fear of missing out, etc.
The constant voice of the inner critic
Negative self-beliefs, whether created by oneself or others, are a continuous source of energy leakage. Rather than being supported and cheered on we live with that harsh inner voice that always has something belittling to say. To make matters worse, we have often internalized it so much that we believe those deprecating comments as the truth.
Self-Deception
Being untrue to oneself is a perfect example of an energy leak. Neglecting how we feel about something or someone, not acknowledging our fears, going against our likes and dislikes, staying in an unfulfilling relationship and wearing masks to fulfill roles mean that we completely ignore our inner wisdom and our truth.
The People-Pleaser
How often do we say yes to something we deep down would prefer not to do? We agree to go to a party, knowing that it will be the most boring evening of the month. We don't dare to say no to the invitation. To please others we bend over, ignore our own needs and end up feeling resentful and irritated. Now that’s a beautiful energy leak.
Worrying about things that aren’t in your control (control-freak alert) or won’t happen anyway
Not knowing what the future holds for us can cause high levels of stress. Some people are constantly working out a backup plan for every eventuality. For others, a mosquito turns into an elephant every time something happens. They expect the worst outcome and try to prepare for it, only to realize in the end that the worst never happened. How much of our precious energy is wasted on things irrelevant?
Unresolved Trauma
A past traumatic event can trigger a chain reaction within us especially when we are not able to process appropriately what just happened. Our fight-or-flight system gets activated, the memory gets stored somewhere in an organ and our mind puts the event into some already existing “trauma drawer” to confirm or connect what it has experienced before.
Childhood traumas, in particular, are so deeply tucked away in the subconscious that we can’t recall them. Yet they trigger strong responses to current events or people in our lives. Those memories are stored on the cellular level - evolving into a time-bomb, ready to explode at any given moment and inconvenient time. Often, we aren’t aware of these leaks, but they are a significant source of energy drains.
Holding onto the Past
Mulling over and over again a past conversation or a confrontation and trying to figure out what the best response or reaction should have been does not help much to strategize for similar future events. We tend to be stuck in certain strongly-held beliefs, emotions, assumptions and judgments about what is right or wrong. The bruised ego won’t allow us to move on; shame and guilt will make sure we won’t quickly forget the event.
Allowing our mind to run in that loop and triggering draining emotions repeatedly causes a substantial drop in our energy level. Also, being unable to forgive others and ourselves increases stuck energy and disrupts our natural energy flow. Other examples of energy drains are:
* Wearing masks - trying to be someone we are not and always watching what we say and how we behave
* Procrastinating and feeling guilty about it
* Multi-tasking / doing too much
* Addictions, and, and, and…
How to stop the leaks?
Becoming aware of the leaks is crucial. It is the very first step to further avoid or lessen the possibility of depleting our internal energy.
Mindfulness practice is a fabulous way to help us assess during the day whether we are engaged in draining or renewing situations. Being aware of the draining relationship, situation, task, or thought, you have a choice. Do you want to remain in that situation or change it?
It is important to understand that your mind is essential when it comes to plugging energy leaks. Our busy mind loops around a set number of topics continuously. These are rehashed again and again unless you stop your mind from going in circles, causing you to get wound up more and more. The core issues will remain the same until we take the time to get to the root and resolve them.
Your body is a great ally when it comes to checking in on energy leaks. Any tension, any pain and any form of un-ease is a hint of an energy leak somewhere. There are lots of techniques and solutions that can support us to move from a state of energy drain to a more positive attitude: Mudras, mandalas, breathing, focusing, HeartMath®, meditation, mindfulness … the list is long.
Once you set the intention to shift from depletion to renewal, it is essential to make a list of situations, people, activities and thoughts that drain your energy. Choose one to work with over the next couple of weeks.
“When you feel overwhelmed, you’re trying too hard. That kind of energy does not help the other person and it does not help you. You should not be too eager to help right away. There are two things: to be and to do. Don’t think too much about what to do—to be is first. To be peace. To be joy. To be happiness. And then to do joy, to do happiness—on the basis of being. So first you have to focus on the practice of being. Being fresh. Being peaceful. Being attentive. Being generous. Being compassionate. This is the basic practice.”
If you have already some tools to work with towards that shift, great! Explore what could be in the way to achieve consistent practice and work. What can be done to work around that? How can you implement a practice into your daily life?
Small steps taken continuously will also get you to the top. If you have explored different options but still haven’t yet found the right approach - one that really resonates with you, contact me to discuss your objectives so we can find a solution together.