What Makes Women Beautiful?
Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, and hence a beautiful woman doesn’t have to look like Miss Universe.
So, what makes women beautiful?
Social media and advertising emphasize a person’s physical appearance. From a young age, girls get obsessed with the answer to the question “mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the prettiest in my school?” A not-so-favorable response often then causes anxiety, eating disorders, depression and bullying, just to name a few. Adults, of course, aren’t any less concerned by their appearance. The big word in the beauty industry has been and still is “anti-aging”.
Is aging really something we should be ashamed of?
And are looks all that counts?
Why is it that when it comes to describing a woman’s beauty, most will immediately think of physical characteristics. Our genetic imperative is attracting the best mate to ensure healthy offspring. Fitting the beauty ideals of the particular time period increased chances for genetic survival.
Today this is hardly the primary consideration when looking for a partner. And yet, when you ask people what they look for in a partner, the focus is on physical and material aspects, even though beauty and vitality are not only closely connected to physical health, but they are also very much connected to mental health.
How do we define mental health?
According to WHO, mental health is defined as a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully and is able to make a contribution to her or his community.
Realize your own potential
Each and every one of us has created some limiting beliefs about ourselves in the past. For example, “I am never able to do that” or “I amount to nothing.” Perhaps you have been constantly compared to siblings, being shamed at school or experienced the hurt and humiliation of rejection. These childhood wounds are deeply ingrained in our cellular memory. Negative beliefs we adopted as children trigger reactions in us as adults.
Bruce Lipton, a renowned cell biologist and research scientist, explains in his book “The Biology of Belief” how all our cells are affected by our thoughts. He found that the environment of a cell matters much more than previously thought and therefore the quality of our nutrition, our level of resilience towards stress and the quality of our thoughts and emotions do impact the vitality of our cells. What does that mean for us?
Pause to create awareness
Let’s try the famous example of the glass being half empty or half full? Or another one: “This is the end!” Well, many times the end of something is the beginning of something even better. What is your perspective on life? Start paying attention to the quality of self-talk in your head and how it influences your way of living.
Foster the desire for change
We often only remain in an uncomfortable situation because we prefer familiarity. Though not ideal, it creates stability in life and many people prefer that to uncertainty and unpredictability that come with change. The answer to the question “What is in it for me?” often defines whether we will have enough courage and strength to make that change. Or maybe our threshold for pain is finally overflowing and we are forced to change to ensure our own safety and that of our loved ones.
Whatever it is, take responsibility for your life. External circumstances are an invitation for you to assess where you would like to be and whether what you are doing right now is fulfilling. Depending on the outcome of that assessment, start putting action steps into place to get there. Recognize that change is the only constant in life; it is a driving force for growth. It may not feel comfortable in the beginning, yet again it is up to you to take charge to create your desired outcome.
“Some changes look negative on the surface, but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.”
Start addressing underlying core issues
We are all born with a unique potential whether we know about it or not. Over the years, it either gets fostered, and we thrive on it, or we lose the connection to it and it gets watered down by expectations, limiting beliefs and a lack of direction and guidance. Addressing limiting beliefs and examining the expectations of parents and society offers us the opportunity to gain a clearer picture of who we really are. This knowledge can provide us glimpses into our potential and it can connect us to our driving force, our calling. Letting go of a self-image that no longer serves us potentially connects us to inner resources that had slumbered hidden within us for years. Reclaiming and reconnecting with these will make it easier to follow through with change.
Increase your resilience to stress
Some of us can naturally handle stress better. For the rest of us, there are various ways to increase our ability to gracefully deal with both small and significant challenges in life. Resilience is the ability to adapt well to external and internal stressors, such as family discord, an unsupportive boss, the severe illness of a loved one, bullying or financial stress. Negative thoughts and emotions trigger the release of cortisol, which creates an incoherence of the heart rate. Positive thoughts and emotions, on the other hand, lead to a coherent heartbeat, which helps us to become calmer and remain focused. It also increases our ability to access our inner source of wisdom for better solutions. If you would like to learn tools to become more resilient to stress, drop me an email and I will send you some information about my upcoming Resilience Workshop. Or you can check the calendar of upcoming workshops.
Find your purpose
A lack of purpose leads to questions about our self-worth, our reason to be here and fulfillment. Many people believe being happy is their life purpose. Yet, what is true happiness? What makes us happy? Often, we believe that chasing one material goal after the other and busying us with an endless list of entertaining activities will give us that sense of happiness. One day we realize that within us there is still a part that is unfulfilled and continues to search.
What then is our purpose? Of course, every one of us has to define their life purpose for themselves. In my humble opinion the purpose has to do with service. Engaging in activities that are helping others, improving their lives and moving away from the idea of serving your own self.
“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
Purpose doesn’t have to be something grand. Think of small things in your daily life that can make the world a little bit of a better place. Get up to offer an elderly person a seat on the bus, open the door for someone carrying heavy bags or tell a friend how much you value their friendship.
Everyone has the ability and the potential to create change, help others to succeed and lift others up.
What are you doing for this world of yours? What are you doing for yourself to live your best life? When you grow, others grow too. Once you clear those patterns that keep you living someone else’s life, once you free yourself from restricting beliefs that kept you stuck in your past without any perspective about a different future, once you realize that your heart, your personality and what you give to others counts more than your looks, you will know without a doubt that you are beautiful to the core.